selfdestroyed

Becka

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come to an end by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

come to an end

It was fun while it lasted if i turned back time id do it all again it was fun while it lasted but good things must come to an end im keeping my head up and my eyes dry im thinking this was a good thing and that its not very hard to say goodbye im going to walk away now and we're going to remain friends im going to say i love you and its going to be that way till the end It was fun while it lasted if i turned back time id do it all again it was fun while it lasted but good things must come to an end

Empty Bed by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

Empty Bed

I cant be myself while you're around im somebody else. I cant care about you while im stuck here alone but that's not a rule all I can do is cry myself to sleep all there is left is a empty bed all I can feel is the heart you broke all there is left is a empty bed I cant keep myself away from what makes me hurt I just want to know your okay I cant get over you when you are still around me and im lost for words, what im about to do. all I can do is cry myself to sleep all there is left is a empty bed all I can feel is the heart you broke all there is left is a empty bed

i am by selfdestroyed, literature

everytime by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

everytime

Every time I try to leave I always see your face Every time I want to say no all that comes out is Yes Every time I try to forget memories play back in my mind I cant help it I just cant leave you alone I cant help it I just love you too much Every time I try to disappear your always right beside me Every time I try to deny it makes me want you more Every time I try to leave I always see your face

standing still by selfdestroyed, literature

stay above by selfdestroyed, literature

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This is my gift by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

This is my gift

My minds spinning, my moods keep changing, i dont know right from left, i cant see up from down... Theres something wrong with me, even if u cant see it. you never could tell something wasnt okay. you could never see i wasnt happy. You never saw my tears.... you never fully cared. My bloods dripping My tears keep flowing this is my gift, no physical pain that i can feel Theres something upsetting me, even if u cant see it. you never could tell something wasnt okay. you could never see i wasnt happy. You never saw my tears.... you never fully cared. my wounds wont heal my scares will be hidden forever yo

u want it soo bad by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

u want it soo bad

Cut the Fleash Watch the Blood. Release yourPain Drop the Bullshit... You tease Youself, Our you Lose the Courage You Want it so bad, But you never Press Hard enough You Taste your tears And fell the least bit releved You Get a Rush Not always a good One You Want it so Bad But you pause in the mean time You dont think You dont speak You watch watch the blood Watch the skin open Anything there is to see... You just want it so bad Then thought come to you What would happen if u pressed harder? Who whould find you? How long would it all take? What really happens? Is there a second chance? Then yo

Rid u of ur guilt by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

Rid u of ur guilt

The emotions stopped running I guess my blood toke over No tears left to fall No fears left to fight No reasons to live… but I'm still here The cut flesh turns to lasting scares Our past will never be erased The happiness of life will always be lost. My Hearts slowing down The bloods beginning to stop I'll never see the people around me With tears running down there faces My past will be forgotten Your memories of me will be false You'll say I was happy, to rid you of your guilt Flashing lights have appeared they pull the white sheet over me You've pushed me too far it seems Or maybe… I pushed myself….

Unforgiven by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

Unforgiven

you did things that hurt me, you did things i dont like, you did things that cause me pain, and make me cry through-out the night My memories havnt been erased, My sadness will not just leave, Sometimes i think maybe it wasnt real, and i shouldnt really beileve We've never spoken about it, Though, we've gone out n hung out, Mom trys to say nothing happened, what the fucks that about? She just loves you more, shes just in denile, cause she couldnt keep her legs shut, just for a lil while its all done and over, though, you'll never be forgiven, you see... im stuck with this for life, While u keep on living.

frozen by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

frozen

Has your heart frozen over? Has it grown as cold as your eyes that look down on to me? Have any of my tears made you think twice about what u are doing? Have my scares not stood out enough for you to care? I wish you could love me As the little girl I once was I wish you could tell me That I'll never be alone I wish you could leave me While telling me you have set me free I wish you could care Care about anything other then yourself… Has your heart frozen over? Has it grown as cold as your eyes that look down on to me? Have any of my tears made you think twice about what u are doing? Have my scares not stood out enough for you

i coudnt be myself by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

i coudnt be myself

I'm nothing compared to you. I've always been a step behind. Admiring your every move, praying id be just like you. You always saw me there, taking in everything I said. I was your friend; you would have died for me. Well… I did die for you. I couldn't be myself. You were the only person I saw. You words will always be in my head You secrets will always be kept safe within me. I'll always be behind you, backing you up if need be You'll always be my saviour… I'm lost without you I've always been a step behind you Looking how people respect you, praying id be just like you. You always helped me out, taking in every word I sai

Yet youre still wondering by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

Yet youre still wondering

When I think of you I wonder why no smile comes to my face When I think of you I ask myself where I have gone wrong. You mean the world to me Your words are my saviour You've been there to support me You've wiped my tears when I was down. Yet you're still wondering You still can't see… When I think of you Tears come to my eyes. When I think of you My heart breaks into pieces You can understand me so well You are the best thing to happen to me You are the one person I love You just can't see it … Yet you're still wondering You still can't see…

what i am by selfdestroyed, literature

Literature

what i am

Strip me down to my soul expose all my pain and fears show the world what i am just a little girl whos lost in the darkness, alone Stop telling me what i want to hear stand up, and tell me the truth let me know what i am a young woman whos expanding her mind, independently Let me share my dreams through my words, and my actons show me i can beileve in what i am a blossoming soul whos love is growing, internally.

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Ray of Light by selfdestroyed, visual art

Ray of Light

selfdestroyed

About selfdestroyed

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Canada
Deviant for 20 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: a town full of cemetaries
Favourite genre of music: reggea, rock, punk, folk, techno
Favourite photographer: .. a few people
Favourite style of art: dark/emotional poetry.
Favourite cartoon character: Mona the vampire :)
Personal Quote: i think ill draw a picture,a picture with a twist, ill draw it with a razor,and place it on my wrist

Favourite Movies

White oleander (im like estar)

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

tegan n sara, tatu, Nirvana, NIN, black sabbath, SOAD, linkin park, evanecence, ECT

Favourite Writers

poet: Kurt cobain.. writer: JK tolkien (makes me fell like im not me)

Favourite Games

Monopoly!! *w00t*

Favourite Gaming Platform

umm... i have a N64?

Tools of the Trade

a bloody razor blade

Other Interests

writing, reading, music, rain, ECT

Posts

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selfdestroyed

Mar 21, 2004

.......

0 min read

hmm... lets see... i no longer talk to allison. i no longer leave this house unless im going to skewl. im going to keep to myself, as thats where i cannot be hurt by others. im going to stop being such a little slut, and im going to close my legs. im leaving now. -becka

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selfdestroyed

Mar 3, 2004

some poem i just wrote...

0 min read

i dont know why im like this, or why i still try to change. i dont understand these thoughts, or know where they come from. all im certin about, is that im terribly alone. not the good kind. not the kind you long for. the kind thats painful. the kind thats never ending.... i wish this was the end since alone is nothing to live for i wish this was the end since you dont care about me anymore.... i dont know why im like this, or why i still try to change. i dont understand these thoughts, or know where they come from. all im certin about, is that im terribly alone.

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selfdestroyed

Feb 29, 2004

.........whatever

0 min read

ive been a little whore this weekend. i dont care. im becomming my mother, i want to feel needed to i get guys to pretend they love me so they'll fuck me or something like that.. im sick, i know. dont bug me about it. ive decieded not to fuck around with people, and stick to one.. trouble is.. ive got 5 to chose from.. ive never had 5 people like me, ever. they think im easy, and.. i guess they should.. the one guy i really liekd told me i was easy... then he tried to say he was mad, thats why he said it.. i hate people, i hate guys, i hate me... i hate mirriors too. i was reading journals; Kurt Cobain. i do whenever im real upset, i try